Thoughts on the first 24 hours with the WebCam

Putting a web cam in my art room was not an easy decision. I've been asked by several paranormal investigators to put a web cam in the house. If you are an artist, you can understand the need for a distraction-free environment when you are creating. Having a camera invade my workspace is difficult for me.

I'm also not sure how my unseen guests, the ones living in my art room, will react to this intrusion. I do try to keep everyone in the house and the house itself peaceful. Technologically speaking, I don't know what I'm doing as far as web cameras, IR cameras, and microphones. If you are a techno-geek, I am open to any advice you have to give me.

Since this is not a moneymaking project, I cannot afford expensive cameras and other ghost hunting equipment. I'm not sure that what I can afford is adequate enough to produce good results for paranormal investigators. I will upgrade the equipment as time goes on. If you are a fellow artist reading this blog, you understand that an artist's finances are usually sparse. If I wanted to be rich, I would not have picked art as a career.

Other people have asked me and I have asked myself why am I pursuing this? I have always believed that there is life after death, but I didn't believe in things like hauntings. When I moved into this house, I attributed my daughter's stories to her wonderful imagination. As time went on, I started seeing and hearing things myself. I became concerned about my own sanity.

It wasn't until I saw a Ghost Hunters marathon and heard EVP's and saw the video of something peeking out over the railing of the St. Augustine lighthouse, that I had to admit there might be such things as ghosts. The only thing I know for sure is that they are some form of energy. I think attributing it to the spirits or souls of dead people is more a belief than actual scientific proof.

While the paranormal team packed up their gear after the first investigation, I still had a hard time with the idea that my house might be haunted. As they loaded up their vans, I apologized to them for bringing them all the way from Orlando to investigate something that was probably just my imagination. At the same time, I asked different members of the team if they found anything. They told me they would review the evidence and get back to me.

Not really believing that my house is haunted and it was just some kind of weird thing happening in my life, I decided to put a tape player in the art room while two of my friends were in there painting with me. They asked me why I was running a tape player, and I laughingly said, "We're going to talk to the ghost today." that night after my friends left I downloaded the recording into my computer, put on a set of headphones, and listened to the recording.

I couldn't believe what I heard. In between our conversation, during the silences, I heard one woman's voice and several men's voices butting into our conversation. I took the headphones off and just quietly sat there staring at the computer screen. I had opened the recording in audacity, so I could see the little blips in the line where the ghosts were actually speaking. At that point, I was not amazed just scared. There was undeniable proof something unseen was living in my house, watching what I do, and listening to everything I say. Along with this fear was anger at my privacy being so completely violated. How dare something live with me uninvited. I didn't go into my art room for weeks. All painting and jewelry making stopped, and that gave me an overwhelming sadness.

I had trouble sleeping, concentrating, and staying in the house. I spent a lot of time in my Van sitting in parking lots. I didn't want to go back in the house. I thought about selling the house, but we couldn't afford to move. This was my house, the only one I would ever own. I didn't want to move. I would just have to learn how to live with something like this.

By the time, the investigator showed up to give me the research, video and audio evidence, I was starting to adjust to the idea. They assured me these things in my house were human spirits. However, because they are human spirits they have free will. They told me they could bless the house and quiet things down, but they couldn't force them to leave. Other people, told me they could be forced to leave.

These last couple of years, I've just been waiting to see what happens next. During that time, other things have happened. I had a group of investigators train their newbies here. I figured I owed the paranormal organization that much since they did all the investigating for free. I also allowed a TV show to be filmed here. Both the investigations and TV show gave me more information about the ghosts. The one company did extensive historical research on the property. My house is sitting on land first homesteaded by a man from Machias, Maine. His name was Alonso Small. I have never really found out why they are here. One person told me, they want to communicate with me. I'm not a psychic, and communicating with me is probably not going to happen. I'm a little afraid and very wary.

As far as the book I mentioned in my first blog, that started out a couple years ago when I joined a NaNoWriMo contest. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is a fiction writers' month of writing. I wrote a 60,000 word draft of a fiction based on real events. Later, I decided to take a fiction writing course for something to do over the winter. It was during that writing course, that my teacher talked me into writing the whole story as the memoir.

I've never really been interested in reading memoirs, so I didn't know much about them. After I learned about memoirs and how to write one, I began to enjoy the whole process. Memoirs, as you know, are all about the internal journey and what the writer has learned through it all. Approaching my story from that viewpoint, has helped me to sort out my feelings, fears, and beliefs. I'm also not as afraid as I used to be of life or death.

Keep watching the ghost cam, and let me know if you see anything. If you do see anything, make sure you get a screen capture of it.

Caterina